Planning ahead: what to keep track of

Caregiving involves being asked the same questions over and over, usually at the least convenient moment — in a clinic, on the phone to a pharmacy, or in an emergency department at 2am. Preparing the answers once is one of the few things that reliably saves time later.

The information you will be asked for repeatedly

• Full name, date of birth and NRIC of the person you care for
• Every current medication with the dose and how often it is taken
• Known allergies and reactions
• Existing medical conditions and past significant procedures
• Their doctors and clinics, with contact numbers
• Who to call in an emergency, and who is authorised to make decisions

Keeping this in one place that more than one family member can reach matters more than where you keep it. If it only exists in your head or your phone, it is unavailable exactly when someone else needs it.

After every appointment, write four things

Memory of a consultation degrades fast, and the details that matter are rarely the ones you expect. Straight after a visit, capture:

• What the doctor said the situation is
• What changed — new medication, stopped medication, changed dose
• What you were asked to do or watch for
• When the next appointment is, or when to come back

Do this in the waiting room before you leave if you can. If you find writing while stressed difficult, Kinu can draft this from a recording of the visit for you to check and correct — but a scribbled note beats a perfect record you never made.

The bigger conversations

There are decisions best discussed before they are urgent — who makes medical and financial decisions if your family member cannot, and what kind of care they would and would not want. These conversations are uncomfortable and easy to postpone, and almost every family who has had one is glad they did it early. Legal and formal arrangements should be set up with proper advice, not improvised.